Joe Exotic – King of the Quarantine

COVID-19 sounds like the name of a local hardcore band. Like, I feel like if I were to say to you, “Yo, you remember Daryl from Broke Finger Nightly? Well, him and the drummer from Our Undying Threat started this new band COVID-19 and they’re playing down at the Legion this Saturday,” it would sound more logical as a statement than the reality of the Global Pandemic that we find ourselves sheltering from as I type these words out. We are living in some strange times.

Robyn, the Saddest Girl to Ever Hold a Martini

You’ve suspected it for awhile. Since he stopped calling. Since the every night late night text became the weekend late night text, became sporadic late night text, became the non-existent late night text. You’ve suspected it for awhile, yet you refused to indulge the thoughts. You’ve suspected it. But now you know it’s true. He’s found someone new.